


In the Most Desirous of Dreams

by AngelQueen



Series: Lantean Grace [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Ascension, Dreams, F/M, Fluff, Het, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:05:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelQueen/pseuds/AngelQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I am as real as you want me to be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Most Desirous of Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Second story in the _Lantean Grace_ series.
> 
> Disclaimer: SGA does not belong to me.

John sat in the briefing room in silence, eyeing the other four occupants contemplatively as they eyed him and each other at the same time. The past few days had been stressful for them and none were all that eager to relive it.

He looked over at Daniel Jackson. Even though no one had officially declared Elizabeth dead, Stargate Command and the IOA had felt it best to send someone out to take her place as head of the expedition. The IOA hadn't minded having John serve as the leader in a temporary capacity, but they still refused to allow Atlantis to be permanently militarized. In response, the SGC had offered to send Dr. Jackson. He was more than qualified for the position, and had wanted to come to the city ever since they'd discovered it.

The archaeologist was handling the position as well as could be expected, but it hadn't been easy for him to come into a city full of expedition members still grieving the loss of his predecessor. Ronon had been openly suspicious of him for months. Of course, given that Jackson had brought someone else along with him hadn't exactly helped for a smooth transition of authority.

John himself wasn't entirely sure what Vala Mal Doran's purpose in Atlantis was. He knew the SGC had sent her out here with Jackson mostly because of the unhealthy interest the Ori had begun to show in capturing her. What better place to hide her than in another galaxy all together? The problem lay in finding her something to do that wouldn't drive the rest of the city's inhabitants insane. Whatever Jackson had found for her, though, it seemed to work. John, for one, hardly saw her. Teyla interacted with her fairly often, when the former thief took to exercising in the gym. According to the her, Vala was pretty good with the fighting sticks.

He shrugged himself out of those thoughts and forced himself to return to the matter at hand. Jackson was looking at him, clearly wanting for him to begin.

"Aside from the faint energy readings we got from the MALP, there didn't seem to be any signs of civilization," John started crisply. "We walked for about an hour, heading southeast from the Gate, but there didn't seem to be anyone there, or any sign that anyone had been for a long time. We were just about to start back, when we were ambushed."

"Didn't even hear 'em coming," Ronon mumbled, looking rather angry with himself about that fact.

"They took us into a series of nearby caves," Teyla continued quietly. "We were brought before their leader, a man called Choros. We assured him that we came in peace, that we meant no harm to his people. He explained the history of his people to us, about how the Ancestors provided them with the caves as a means to hide from the Wraith and their other enemies. According to their laws, once someone entered the caves and seen the way to them, it is forbidden for them to leave. They see it as the only way to keep themselves safely hidden away from the Wraith."

"Believe it or not, it actually seems to be working pretty well for them," Rodney cut in, fiddling with his laptop, which sat in front of him. "They've been hiding their entire civilization down there and from the looks of things, they've got a fair number of people, not to mention technology. The Wraith haven't been able to cull them for thousands of years, though they still come through the Gate every few generations just to scope the place out."

"And the only way to stay safe is to be completely self-sufficient and isolationist," Daniel concluded, nodding in understanding.

John spoke up again. "We told them that if we didn't report back, others would come looking for us, but Choros said that if they found the caves, then they would also be subject to the laws." He rolled his eyes. "He said that he would see to it that we would be kept as comfortable as possible, but that we would not be allowed out of the caves."

"I take it you weren't willing to accept that?"

"Hell no. We waited a few hours before we made the first attempt to get out, but they caught us before we even made it out of the main living areas. Over the next few days we kept making more and more attempts, until they decided to try something else to keep us there," the colonel said.

"Their scientists had been experimenting with various forms of plants for many years," Teyla added. "Eventually they discovered that a particular flower can be made to put a person to sleep, to dream, indefinitely unless the person is given the antidote. They were unsure if it would work on us as well as it had them, but they believed that they had to try..."

* * *

 _Four days earlier_

John struggled futilely as the doctors injected his teammates with the serum. He watched as first Rodney, then Ronon, then Teyla, slumped over on the cots they had been strapped to.

"Forgive us, Colonel," Choros said quietly from his position near John's own bed. "We do not mean to cause you and your people distress, but for our own survival, the laws must be observed. Only those chosen by the Ancestors can be held exempt and since they have not chosen to speak on your behalf..."

"The Ancients don't speak on anyone's behalf, Choros," John snarled as he pulled yet again on the restraints that held him strapped to his own cot. "Our people learned a long time ago that it's against their own laws to interfere in the affairs of those who are not on the same level of existence as them. How then is anyone supposed to have a chance to leave here?"

Choros sighed and looked at him with pity in his eyes. "That is unfortunate, Colonel, but if the Ancestors choose not to speak, then that is their prerogative. We, however, must obey the laws that have kept us safe for so long. It is the only way we may continue to survive."

John opened his mouth to reply, but the sound of mutterings interrupted him. He turned in Rodney's direction and found the scientist curled up on his side, looking as though he were fast asleep. He had been removed from his restraints, though his guard remained close by, watching him, and as a result, he had somehow twisted his pillow from beneath his head to being clutched in his arms like a teddy bear. Under other circumstances, John would have found it hilarious.

"On behalf of my team," he mumbled, "... honor to... Nobel Prize..."

It wasn't long before Teyla and Ronon began to whisper as well, the former calling out to her parents and to Charin and the latter muttering something about Sateda being restored. John grit his teeth in frustration. There was no way for him or his team to fight this, it seemed, but he was not about to give up. He turned, opening his mouth to begin arguing with Choros again, only to find one of the doctors approaching him, a syringe in his hand.

Instinctively, John exploded with movement, struggling with renewed vigor, but a few well-placed hands added to his restraints and he could do little but watch as the man efficiently emptied the contents into his veins.

Within moments, he felt his limbs and eyelids grow heavy, his resolve weakening. His eyes steadily slid shut and the last thing to run across his mind was where the sudden light was coming from.

* * *

"Dr. Beckett found an anomalous agent in all of your respective bloodstreams," Daniel informed them, looking down at the report in front of him. "Though, he did say that, by far, it was least-potent in Colonel Sheppard's blood." He looked over at him. "Any idea why?"

John hesitated briefly, glancing at his team, before he answered. "We're not entirely sure, but that might have something to do with why they let us go." He took a deep breath. "According to what Choros told us later, I was only under the drug's influence for about twelve hours when it began to suddenly wear off."

"He said it happened to all of us," Rodney added, "But that it happened to Colonel Sheppard the fastest and the most drastically. Their scientists couldn't explain it."

Teyla leaned forward. "Their priests, however, took it as a sign from the Ancestors, that they were making their will known and that we should be allowed to leave after we gave our word never to reveal their whereabouts."

"Wouldn't do much good to tell anyone," Ronon said, shrugging, "Those caves were really well-hidden. Hard to find unless you know what to look for."

"We also agreed to lock their Gate address out of our computers, to prevent anyone from going back ther," John told Jackson. "It seemed pretty reasonable. They aren't interested in trade or an alliance. They just want to be left alone."

Jackson considered his words, and then nodded slowly. "It's not unreasonable. I'll have Sergeant Campbell deal with that. It shouldn't take long." He turned to Rodney. "You said that they have some level of technology? How advanced would you estimate?"

The scientist shrugged. "We didn't see a whole lot of the place while we were there, but I got the impression that they're somewhere near the level of the Genii, maybe even a little further along. But I don't think these people were in the market for explosives to help them build better bombs."

"Indeed," Teyla agreed. "They seem to favor a more agrarian way of life. They have no trading partners. They have developed a way to grow a sufficient amount of crops underground, despite the lack of sunlight. What they need, they have."

"Well," Jackson said after a moment, "I suppose that concludes this latest crisis. You've all been returned safely and unharmed, so we might as well keep up our end of the bargain."

They all left the briefing room and went their separate ways. John had every intention of returning to his quarters to get some sleep. He also needed to get everything that had happened straight in his head. He had chosen not to tell his teammates and Jackson everything. Far more went on behind the scenes to get Choros and his people to let them go, far more than he was sure he could convince them of...

* * *

John awoke to bright sunlight streaming through an open window, the sheer white curtains billowing in a fresh breeze. Not moving from where he was sprawled, his eyes roved around the room, trying to determine his surroundings.

He recognized the architecture as Lantean, and he could smell the salt on the air. That made him fairly certain he was in Atlantis, but the bedroom seemed unfamiliar. Confusion swept through him, but he didn't quite comprehend why.

The door suddenly swept open, interrupting his thoughts, and two little balls of energy came tearing into the room, shouting, "Daddy!" Without warning, they hurled themselves onto the bed, one of them even managing to land on his stomach. John let out an auditable "Oof!" His arms instinctively came up to wrap around the person in question.

Rubbing his abdomen gently, he found himself faced with two little girls around seven or eight years old. Both of them had shoulder length black hair that appeared much as his own did, perpetually mused. Two sets of green eyes and two blinding, adoring smiles also beamed up at him as they latched themselves to him. He automatically hugged them back, but before he could say a word, the door opened again.

"Lisette! Julia! I told you not to wake your father!"

John stared at the woman in front of him, clad in a stylish red shirt and beige shorts, her dark curls pulled back at the nape of her neck.

Elizabeth looked amazing.

She spoke again. "Well, now that these two terrors," she laughed at the two squawks of protest before continuing, "have woken you up, are you up to going for a swim with us?"

He didn't answer at first. It felt like there was something, something important, that he should be remembering about her, but he could not place his finger on it. Finally, he just shrugged it off, chalking it up to some vaguely-remembered dream. John grinned at her and then down at Lisette and Julia. "Sure. Love to."

The girls squealed and tackled him yet again before jumping off the bed and bolting out of the room, ostensibly to change into their bathing suits. Elizabeth shook her head and smiled fondly after them and turned back to him. She moved over to the bed and sat down next to him. Taking his face in her hands, she leaned forward and brushed her lips across his own.

"Are you sure you're not too tired?" she inquired. "We probably won't be gone long, if you want to go back to sleep. Those two pestered me almost constantly, asking when you'd be coming home. When I didn't give them the answer they wanted, they went off and started bothering Rodney. You can imagine his reaction -"

John laughed and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her fully onto the bed with him resting on his arms just above her. He leaned down and kissed her, much more thoroughly than her gentle brush. She tasted of the strawberries she must have put on the cereal she shared for breakfast with the girls.

For several moments, he reveled in the taste and feel of her, until he finally pulled away slightly. "You didn't completely wear me out when I got back last night, Elizabeth," he told her teasingly. John leaned down and kissed her again, more slowly and tenderly this time. He felt her chuckle against his lips.

When he pulled away again, he leaned down further towards her ear.

"I missed you."

The words held great significance. He knew that. Much more than he felt entirely aware of. But he had no desire to ruin this moment of perfection.

Elizabeth smiled up at him, brushing a palm across his stubble-covered cheek before she pushed him off of her. She stood up and started to leave the room, but stopped at the door and turned back to him.

"I've always been with you."

After that, the day seemed to pass him by in a flash, only slowing down later that evening. After he and Elizabeth had put Julia and Lisette to bed, they settled down on a lounge out on the balcony, which just off the main sitting room of their quarters.

It was large enough for them both to lie on their sides, facing outward. John had his back up against it, with Elizabeth pressed up against his front. She leaned back, her head coming to rest on his chest as she gazed contently out at the setting sun.

John kissed her head while gently brushing his fingers through her loose curls. When he pulled back, he saw the faint smile on her face as she closed her eyes.

"How did things turn out this good?" He asked drowsily, his arm draping across her waist.

He didn't expect an answer to his rhetorical question, but after a few minutes of content silence, she said, "The heart sees what is true and right, but the mind can force itself to see only that which it desires most."

John looked down at her, confused. Elizabeth took the opportunity to shift carefully on the lounge until she was facing him. Her eyes were dark and serious.

"Elizabeth?" he asked.

Her hand reached up and caressed his brow, her expression turning something akin to wistful. "This is a beautiful place, John," she murmured. "A wonderful thing to hope for. Peace and happiness are things we all crave." Her green gaze then locked with his. "But is it complete? How did we come to be here?"

He blinked. He knew he should be feeling confused at her swift change in moods, but for some reason, all he felt was a sense of reluctance and denial. John shook his head. "Isn't it complete enough?" He found himself asking her, almost pleadingly. "Does it really matter?"

She smiled at him sadly and sat up, leaving his embrace but staying perched on the lounge right next to him. His eyes followed her every movement.

"Will you give up now? After all you have fought for, after all you have suffered? Will you give up on yourself, on the others?"

The others. The Others. Weren't they always a factor?

John looked away from her, his eyes going to the sliding door that led back into the apartment. Suddenly, with perfect certainty, he knew that the two precious little girls he had helped put to bed just a little while ago were no longer there. They had never really been in the first place.

"None of this is real," he whispered. "It never was." He looked up at her. "You aren't, are you? I have to go back..."

"You don't have to do anything," she corrected. "You could stay if you wanted, but none of this is truly real." Elizabeth brushed her fingers softly over his cheek. "I am as real as you want me to be..." she whispered.

He could feel something pulling at him, could feel his mind going elsewhere. Hurriedly, desperately, he launched himself upward and right at her. Wrapping his arms around her, he mashed their lips together in an impulsive kiss.

Before everything faded all together, he breathed a single word, heard in both the unconscious and waking worlds.

"Elizabeth..."

* * *

John sighed with relief when he finally arrived in his quarters. Though he'd received a plethora of welcoming smiles and nods, no one had stopped him, something he was grateful for. He really didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't told the others everything about the dreams Choros' serum had unleashed in his mind. If it was just his own subconscious alerting him to the unreality of the situation, then there was no problem. Still, if Elizabeth really had somehow appeared into his dreams, then who better to understand that than Daniel Jackson? The man was rumored to have done the same to his closest friends during his time as one of the Ascended.

Nonetheless, he hadn't said anything.

Shaking his head, he threw off his uniform jacket, pants, and shirt before sinking onto his bed. John threw an arm over his eyes, absently reaching with his other hand to pull the sheet up over his body. It was warm enough that the single thin covering was all he needed for the moment.

It had been months since Elizabeth had vanished through the Stargate as an Ascended being, and they had heard nothing from her since. He still dreamed about it though, how she had looked when she had appeared physically in front of him. He still saw her smiling at him before fading into a great white light, their last words echoing in his ears.

 _"Where are you going?"_

 _"Anywhere. Everywhere. Nowhere."_

It was ludicrous. It was insane.

It was possible. It had been proven.

"Are you still here?" John said aloud before he could change his mind.

"I've never left."

He moved his arm aside and opened his eyes. She stood there right by his bed, dressed in the same wine-red dress she had worn upon her departure from Atlantis. Her curls framed her lovely face as she smiled softly down at him.

"It was you," he whispered. "You really were there."

"You needed me," she told him simply.

John found himself nodding. Her cryptic words within the hallucination had only pushed at the knowledge of what he'd already known. He had figured it out for himself, but she had been there to ensure that he wasn't lonely while he did so.

"You leaving again?"

Elizabeth nodded. "There is still much for me to learn myself, John. Much to see." She smiled wickedly at him. "Many different crafts to fly in."

He rolled his eyes and grinned at her for a moment. The grin faded slightly, but he still smiled up at her. "Thanks," he said simply. He didn't have to elaborate. She already knew what he was thanking her for.

"You're welcome," she replied. Then, surprising him yet again, she sat down on the edge of his bed. Almost immediately, he was struck with memory of her doing the same thing, in another place, on another bed. He swallowed hard.

If Elizabeth noticed, she didn't mention it. Instead, she only said, "I'll stay until you're asleep. Get some rest, John."

He quickly found himself relaxing, his eyes drifting shut. It was as though her words were sedatives. Just before he lost the battle to stay awake completely, he muttered, slurring his words a bit, "G'night, 'Lizbeth."

The last sound he heard was her voice, sweeter than church bells.

"Good night, John."


End file.
